In some circles, the word “networking” leaves a bad aftertaste, but in my experience this is a poor characterization. Fundamentally, networking is about building meaningful relationships. And if the secret to living is giving, what pursuit could be more worthy? What follows are some of my thoughts re: how to cultivate a network. Hint: just like a beloved garden, people need to be continually nourished and cared for. ## How to nurture your network: *Note: I'm an early user of [Clay](https://clay.earth/), the software that helps run these processes on the backend. I can't recommend Zach, Matt, and the team enough!* 1. Listen to people's challenges and make value-add intros: Listening is a lost art. When you connect with someone, make sure they feel heard and appreciated. It's amazing how rare this has become… help them solve their problems, and if you're able, offer to make an intro to someone in your network who has the knowledge or resources they need or who might accelerate them. 2. Host curated gatherings: efficiently facilitate win-win connections. Send personalized intros beforehand to increase comfort and support deeper connection. Convene events around a cornerstone question or theme, like “What will a doctor's appointment look like in 10 years?”. And remember, context matters. Make sure you “dress for the position you want”, by creating an ambiance that reflects the values you wish to espouse. [The Art of Gathering](https://www.amazon.com/Art-Gathering-How-Meet-Matters-ebook/dp/B07637KVXL/r) is a good resource. 3. Invite people to events you're already attending: for example cocktail events, conferences, walking coffees, or lunch. Face time strengthens connection in ways digital communication never can. Reach out while traveling! 4. Celebrate milestones: send a thoughtful message for a birthday, promotion, job change, funding round, company exit, birth of child, or anniversary. It can also be appropriate to reach out during a death, illness, or other difficult moment. People should feel supported during both the good times and the bad. 5. Ask for an opinion: we're smarter together, and we all like to feel our professional knowledge is valued. When you run into a problem, ask a colleague or social media for their opinion. Share your gratitude and key takeaways. Ask experts for reading lists when you're exploring a new domain. And follow up – people like to know how things turned out. 6. Share relevant information: perhaps an article that made you think of them, or other information connected to their work or passions. 7. Send press leads: [HARO](https://www.helpareporter.com/) is a good resource for this. Empower those you know to showcase their expertise and latest projects. 8. Send cold emails: most people [love having great conversations or receiving thoughtful compliments](https://mysticalsilicon.substack.com/p/you-know-nothing-a-conversational), but are scared to initiate/give them. Don't underestimate the life-changing power of this skill. Good conversation and appreciation make life better. Relationship building is a meaningful practice, and [good for our collective health](https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2017/04/over-nearly-80-years-harvard-study-has-been-showing-how-to-live-a-healthy-and-happy-life/). Each person we encounter serves as an opportunity to challenge our curiosities, learn, find commonalities, and add value to one another's journey. The people we meet are fellow travelers in life's great adventure, and [more precious than money itself](https://kk.org/thetechnium/68-bits-of-unsolicited-advice/). I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes from Anaïs Nin, who I believe accurately captured the beauty of relationship building: > "Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." %% ##### Scraps - [ ] Incorporate [[A. I’m Leaving VC; This Is What I Didn’t Expect to Learn]] lessons into this article and into [[Networking]] note #Write [link](https://todoist.com/app/task/7962679495) [link](https://app.todoist.com/app/task/9014909511) #todoist [todoist_id:: 9014909511] Thanks to Avery Bedows for reading a draft Avery feedback: high level feedback - i’d like to see you address the reasons why networking leaves a bad taste in people’s mouths otherwise, pithy, to the point, and actionable 😊 In some circles, “networking” is a dirty word, but that doesn't resonate with my experience. Fundamentally, networking is about building relationships, and at the end of the day, [[Ask for nothing; give everything|The secret to living is giving]]. Networking should serve as an opportunity to add value to people's lives in a way that will both make you feel good, and compound benefits for the both of you. %%